I remember my freshman year of high school, a middle-aged woman came into our Religion class to speak to us about abstinence.
She had abstained from sex until her freshman year of high school. She became pregnant, but chose to get an abortion. She shared with us that her life’s deepest regret was not only having sex before entering into marriage, but also murdering her child.
The shame of her foolish and selfish youthful choices painfully manifested through her testimony.
She implored each of us to remain sexually pure until our wedding night, where we’d enter into an eternal covenant with our future spouse and consummate Gods design for marriage through sexual intercourse.
I wish I would have humbled myself as a fourteen-year-old, allowed myself to learn from her painful mistakes, and heeded her Godly wisdom; but unfortunately, I did not.
As a sixteen-year-old, I too, selfishly and foolishly chose to engage in sexual intercourse before Gods design of covenant marriage. I sold something so valuable and priceless; my sexual purity. I did as Matthew 7:6 says not to do, “Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.”
In this parable, sexual purity is likened to pearls. If one gives their sacred, holy, and perfect pearls (sexual purity) to dogs, it will result in their destruction, because dogs do not know their value.
Dogs do not have the spiritual, mental, or physical capacity to esteem pearls. They will either eat, bury, or demolish them, ultimately hindering the pearls from fulfilling their purpose.
And that is what surrendering yourself to sin does; it hinders you from fulfilling your God-given, God-created, and God-designed purpose.
You are valuable.
So valuable that Jesus likens not only your sexual purity to pearls, but your identity too.
Matthew 13:45-46, “Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it.”
Heaven went bankrupt to purchase you.
John 3:16 says “For God so greatly loved and dearly prized the world that He gave up His only begotten (unique) Son, so that whoever believes in (trusts in, clings to, relies on) Him shall not perish (come to destruction, be lost) but have eternal (everlasting) life.”
If you’re not familiar with the world’s greatest love story, I will do a short synopsis to bring you up to speed.
God created everything; including you. He’s the One who breathed the breath of life into you as Genesis 2:7 describes, “Then the LORD God formed a man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.”
He created you for love. You are the main character in this love story. But, like any award-winning story, there’s a plot twist.
Betrayal. Adultery. Deception.
The love relationship with God was broken because of Adam and Eve’s (the first humans God created) choice to sin; recorded in Genesis 3. They passed along this sin nature to every human being birthed into the earth.
You’ve betrayed God. You’ve committed adultery on your first love.
You’ve lied, stolen, cheated, worshiped false gods and maybe even rejected God by not believing in His Son Jesus Christ.
But despite Adam and Eve’s sin, my sin, and your sin, God made a way to reconcile this broken relationship. He sent His Son Jesus as a sin-sacrifice to pay in full our spiritual indebtedness.
Jesus paid in full our debt by dying a criminal’s death upon a cross, going to hell on our behalf, and being raised from the grave by the power of God. To anyone that believes and calls upon the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, they will be restored back into fellowship with God. Their record of sin will be washed away and cleansed. And the believer will be made in right standing with God, just as if they had never sinned.
If you would like to experience this same restoration to God and be as the Bible calls ‘saved,’ say this prayer out loud:
"Heavenly Father, I believe in my heart Jesus Christ is your Son. I believe Jesus died for my sins. God I’m sorry for all my sins and I ask you to forgive me. I believe that you raised Jesus from the dead and I say with my mouth Jesus is my Lord and Savior. Now I am saved, I have chosen life and I am Heaven bound. In the name of Jesus, Amen."
An items value is worth the price paid for it. You are worth THE MOST expensive thing in this entire world, the priceless blood of Jesus. Therefore, YOU are the MOST valuable commodity to God in comparison to ALL His creations!
If I would have known how valuable I was, I wouldn’t have sold my identity and sexual purity because I would have known that I was ALREADY BOUGHT by the blood of Jesus. If I would have known Gods intimate, unchanging, and unwavering love for me, I would have protected what is valuable because anything that is valuable is worth protecting.
Go to Louis Vuitton and you’ll see. Their purses, shoes, and jewelry are protected by glass cases.
Because what’s valuable is worth protecting.
Proverbs 4:23, “So above all, guard the affections of your heart, for they affect all that you are. Pay attention to the welfare of your innermost being, for from there flows the wellspring of life.”
You heart is worth protecting.
Because the condition of your heart determines your destiny.
Proverbs 25:28 says, “He who has no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down and without walls.”
Walls protect. They function as boundaries. If you are a homeowner, consider your property. Do you esteem your home, the land it is located on, the materialistic items, and people that are within it as valuable? I'd say, yes.
Many of you have fences on the property line of your home to distinguish a boundary. You may even have a security system, insurance, or even guns to protect what’s within, if necessary. This is being a faithful steward of what you consider to be valuable and not worth loosing.
God’s word is a boundary that if read, heeded, and applied, will function as a security system, insurance, or weaponry to PROTECT you because He deems you as valuable. That is why God establishes a boundary about sexual purity in Ephesians 5:1-3, “But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people.”
Sex is like fire. Fire was created for a purpose. One of its purposes is to boil water; which in turn, quenches the thirst of the drinker. Without water, we would die. Another purpose is to cook food; again, satisfying the one who’s hungry. Without food, we would die.
Fire that is within the confinement of the boundaries of a fireplace brings warmth to those sitting close by. As long as the walls of the fireplace operate as a boundary for the fire, it fulfills its good purpose. But, once the boundaries and walls of the fireplace are removed, the fire spreads viciously throughout the home, destroying everything within its path.
God doesn’t want you to be destroyed. He knows the blessings and benefits that honoring the boundaries from His Word will bring you, just like the natural benefits that fire brings you, water, health, and warmth to live peacefully and prosperously.
Biblical marriage is Gods boundary for sex.
According to God, who is the OG of love and marriage, biblical marriage is between a man and a woman that are submitted to Jesus Christ and the Word of God.
Just because you say “I do” at an altar, exchange rings, and the state deems you ‘legally’ married, doesn’t mean you are legitimately married.
For example, just because a purse has the LV logo on it, doesn’t mean it is an authentic Louis Vuitton brand handbag. You can go into China Town, New York, and purchase a faux Louis Vuitton purse for $20. But that purse is fugazi!
You’ve compromised on quality, value, and authenticity by purchasing this item. Some people are in the business of selling counterfeit designer purses for the real price. Foolish, deceived, and ignorant people have purchased low quality, compromised, and counterfeit handbags that they thought were designer. Little did they know that they exchanged their thousands of dollars for something that was fake!
In order for it to be real, it had to be manufactured by Louis Vuitton. You may call it real, but just because you call it legitimate, doesn’t make it so.
The creator deems it legitimate or not.
I like what Dr. Tony Evans says about biblical marriage from his book, Kingdom Marriage, “A kingdom marriage is defined as a covenantal union between a man and a woman who commit themselves to function in unison under divine authority in order to replicate God’s image and expand His rule in the world through both their individual and joint callings.”
The devil is in the business of perverting what God has created by presenting a counterfeit. He’s like the one selling counterfeit Louis Vuitton handbags to vulnerable, ignorant, and naïve customers. He presents a lie as truth in order to deceive. 2 Corinthians 11:14 tells us, “And no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light.”
Don’t buy the lies of the enemy. There is not a good return on the investment. Satan comes to as John 10:10 says, “steal, kill and destroy,” from you.
How do you know if you've bought a lie?
Just like how you would find out if your ‘Louis Vuitton’ purchase was authentic or not, take it to the manufacturer for analyzation. In order to not buy the lies of the enemy, we’ve got to go to the source of truth for analyzation, the Bible.
Psalm 119:9 and 10, “How can a young person stay on the path of purity? By living according to your word. I seek you with all my heart; do not let me stray from your commands.”
A house that is for sale has frequent open houses for people to tour inside. Most people don’t come back for another visit and don’t put in an offer to purchase. Do you want to be like a house that is “open for touring” every weekend? That is what a life of sexual impurity looks like. A house that has no security system in place is vulnerable and susceptible to the enemy’s attack. Don’t let the enemy come in and steal, kill, or destroy your identity and sexual purity from you because you left the 'doors' and 'windows' of your physical body unlocked and 'open for business.'
Allow the Word of God to be your standard of living. Allow God’s commands to be your protection and boundary so that you can prosper, thrive and experience the abundant life that Jesus came to bring us, John 10:10, “But I have come to give you everything in abundance, more than you expect—life in its fullness until you overflow!”
I am a cosmetologist. I do my fair share of hair cutting, styling, and coloring. When I have a color client book an appointment with me, I have a series of questions that I ask them. One of them is, “Have you colored your hair before?” If they say no, then I am dealing with virgin hair, and virgin hair is highest quality, healthiest texture, and the most rewarding to work with.
Virgin means to be unused, pure, and most valuable.
You may be reading this and be a virgin physically. But others of you are reading this and have a similar story to me. There is hope for you. Jesus is in the forgiving and restoring business.
One day when I was nineteen years old, I was reading Ephesians 5:3 in my room and I got onto my knees and fully surrendered my sexuality to Jesus in light of God’s purity, holiness, and love for me. I did as Hebrews 4:16 says, “So now we come freely and boldly to where love is enthroned, to receive mercy’s kiss and discover the grace we urgently need to strengthen us in our time of weakness.”
I prayed and asked God to forgive me of all the impure thoughts, words, and actions I had done. I told Him that my heart, mind, and body was His now. My mind would be His to use for His glory and no longer a playground for lust. My eyes would read and study His words now, instead of being used as a gateway for lust. My hands were His to use as I surrendered them from impure touch. My feet would chase righteousness instead of sin and every part of my body was under His lordship now.
As I prayed this prayer, God’s tender mercy kissed me, forgiving me of all my sins and His peace overcame me and filled me with such joy. He restored my virginity and He will do the same for you if it has been lost.
If you would like to make the same decision I made and experience the same mercy, forgiveness, love, and restoration of virginity that I did, say this prayer out loud. I would even encourage you to get on your knees if you can:
“Heavenly Father I come to you in Jesus name. I present to you my heart, my life, my mind, and my body. I have chosen to think sinful thoughts, speak sinful words and do sinful actions. I want to divorce lust today. I want to marry your grace, forgiveness, and mercy. I give you my mind, eyes, lips, hands, feet, and every body part. I ask you to forgive me for all that I have thought, said, or done that was lustful. I ask you to sever all ties that I made spiritually, emotionally, or physically with those who were not my spouse. Restore my heart. Restore my mind. Restore my purity. My sexual purity is yours. Help me to not have even a hint of sexual impurity in my life. Heal my heart. Heal my mind. Heal my body. In Jesus Name, Amen.”
Isaiah 1:18 says, “Though your sins stain you like scarlet, I will whiten them like bright, new-fallen snow! Even though they are deep red like crimson, they will be made white like wool!”
ALL your sins are forgiven.
You now stand before God just as if you had never sinned. You are pure. You are holy. You are a virgin. Move forward in His grace, mercy and power. Go to Him any time you’re tempted to sin or
fall back into lust.
I also encourage you to choose an accountability partner. Someone of the same-sex that is a Pastor, spiritual mentor or friend that is going to support your decision. Be open, vulnerable,
and honest with them. If you don’t have somebody, contact me and I would be happy to assist you in your journey!