When I was 18 years old, I said yes to marrying a young man.
We planned the wedding for six months out and immediately started getting ‘Save the Dates’ sent out, gathering décor for the ceremony, and I even said ‘yes’ to my dream wedding dress.
A month before the wedding, I found out devastating news. The kind of news that a soon to be bride never wants to hear; an exposure of unfaithfulness was revealed to me.
To say I was soul-broken wouldn’t have been a strong enough description. Only one other time can I recall a pain I felt so deep, and that was when I was sixteen years old. I was taken from my family a few days before Christmas due to the malicious divorce my parents were going through. Fearful that I would not be able to spend Christmas with them, I remember being overwhelmed with feelings of anger and abandonment as I hysterically cried, escorted from my home.
My parents’ divorce was out of my control, but the destiny of this relationship was in my control. I was faced with the hardest decision I ever had to make, end the relationship and cancel the wedding; that is what I did.
I felt so ashamed, humiliated, and angry. What was I going to tell my family? What was I going to tell my friends?
I was in Cosmetology school at the time and the thought of having to answer the questions as to why the wedding had been called off made me physically ill. I wanted to hide in a pit and run away from everyone and everything. Eventually that is where I found myself; in a pit of depression, sorrow, and shame.
I felt completely shattered into a million pieces; like a chandelier falling full force from the ceiling. I needed healing, restoration, and rebuilding.
But who could handle the job of restoring and rebuilding a chandelier, shattered into a million pieces? It would have to be a master of chandeliers, because if I tried to put it back together, I wouldn’t even know how the pieces fit properly.
I would probably try to remedy it with super glue, not knowing the proper way to restore such a piece. While handling the broken glass, I am confident that I would get cut by the harsh edges. Therefore, making more of a mess with blood flow and potential hospital time depending on the severity of the injury. In the long run it would cost me more time, money, and energy to attempt to fix this with my own hands, than if I would just give the restoration over to the chandelier master.
I think many of us find ourselves indebted with more physical, emotional, and mental pain due to the trauma of trying to remedy our soul’s brokenness. We do this through natural means verses allowing the Master, Jesus Christ, to heal, restore and rebuild us into a brand-new masterpiece.
We run to other relationships to try and fix our brokenness, only ending up more bankrupt from love than when we first started.
We chase ‘success’, lust after money, invest in natural resources to ‘fix’ our insecurities, such as: makeup, clothes, gym memberships or even surgeries. Some, glutton food to fix their brokenness; others, reject food with anorexia or bulimia.
These natural remedies are counterfeits because we are not simply natural beings. We live in a natural body and we have a soul, which is our mind, emotions, will and intellect. However, our true being is our spirit, which is our heart.
God made us in His image and His likeness according to Genesis 1:27, “So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God, he created them; male and female he created them.”
And we discover in John 4:24, “For God is Spirit.” Therefore, we cannot solve soul and spirit problems within humanity, with natural, earthy, remedies.
Allow me to illustrate: You drop your iPhone and crack the screen protector. Now, you need to make a trip to the Apple store to replace it. Instead, you go to Home Depot and purchase a strip of black wallpaper from the Home Décor Department. You put that strip on your screen, but moments later, drop your phone, and the entire screen gets shattered. You throw a fit because now your $2,000 iPhone XXR (got to be relevant, lol) is shattered; the microphone and camera are broken, and you can’t identify people to communicate with. The wallpaper isn’t the correct remedy for the iPhone.
The Master’s name is Jesus, and it is His purpose to rebuild, restore and renew humanity's physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual brokenness. No one and nothing else can do so for mankind.
Isaiah 61:1, “The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor.”
The word “poor” here in its original translation means needy, weak, oppressed, depressed in mind and circumstances.
After the broken engagement, I found myself needy, weak, depressed in my mind, and in a pit of oppression.
The word “poor” here also means to be bowed down, afflicted, downcast and mishandled by imprisonment and bonds.
Jesus’ purpose continues in Isaiah 61:1, “He has sent me to bind up the broken hearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners.”
The word “broken hearted” here in its original translation means to break in pieces, abolish, collapse, crush, demolish, destroy, fracture and hurt.
It also means to smash, shatter, tear down, rupture heart and break as to an earthen vessel.
2 Corinthians 4:7 likens humanity to fragile clay jars:
“We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves.”
Here I was, a fragile clay jar that was demolished, fractured, and hurt. Imprisoned in a pit of depression, in need of complete restoration, and Jesus became my Healer, my Restorer, and my Rebuilder as I began to read, meditate, on and apply the Word of God to my entire being.
Job 33:28, “God has delivered me from going down to the pit, and I shall live to enjoy the light of life.”
Maybe as you are reading this today, you are in need of Jesus to ‘bind up’ your wounds as Isaiah 61:1 says.
To ‘bind up’ in its original translation means to bandage, give relief, heal, protect, to comfort the distressed, and repair fortunes.
It also means to ‘wrap firmly’ like a turban on one’s head.
This refers to one’s soul, which is one’s mind, emotions, and feelings.
Jesus wants to wrap firmly your soul (mind, emotions, and feelings) with the ‘turban’ of His Word which brings healing, relief, and comfort just as a doctor would bandage the head of a brain trauma patient.
Proverbs 4:20-22, “My son (my daughter), pay attention to what I say; turn your ear to my words. Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart; for they are life to those who find them and health to one’s whole being.”
If a child needed to be comforted, consoled, and cared for from their mother or father, they would lift their hands in the air and call “Mama” or “Dada.” Because that parent loves their child, they will pick them up and give them whatever he/she needs.
God is the OG of Fatherhood. He is the greatest Father there is. He knows and has what you need right now, and He’s ready to give it to you. Just lift your hands to Him as a son/daughter would and say this following prayer:
“Heavenly Father, I come to you as your son/daughter in the name of Jesus. I believe that you are the healer and restorer of my heart, soul, and body. I need to be healed by you today. I need to be restored in my mind, emotions, and feelings. I’m sorry for turning to other things to try and receive my healing. I recognize that those people and things can’t restore me. Only your Word can. God teach me your Word as I read it. Reveal truth to my soul so I will remain in the freedom of your provided healing. Thank you for loving me, forgiving me, and healing me today. I give you my heart, mind, emotions, feelings, and body because I love you. In Jesus Name, Amen.”
Whether or not you have been through a tragic break-up, divorce or broken engagement, every one of us has been unfaithful within the context of a spiritual relationship with God by the sins we commit.
Sin is adultery. It is disloyalty and dishonoring to God who is perfectly faithful, committed and loyal to love us. The way that our relationship is restored with God is by believing in and accepting the sacrifice of His Son Jesus. If you have never made Jesus Christ the Lord of your life, believe and say this following prayer out loud to have your sins forgiven and be completely restored in your relationship to Christ:
“Heavenly Father, I believe in my heart Jesus Christ is your Son. I believe Jesus died for my sins. God, I’m sorry for all my sins and I ask you to forgive me. I believe that you raised Jesus from the dead and I say with my mouth Jesus is my Lord and Savior. Now I am saved, I have chosen life and I am Heaven bound. In the name of Jesus, Amen.”
If you have said this prayer out loud and meant it in your heart, I want to hear from you! Subscribe to receive prayer, content and future blogs on Beauty For Ashes HOME page. In the comments write me about your decision to accept Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior today.